Healing Hatred

Hatred is distorted love, not its opposite. Indifference is the opposite of love, it is shunning the world. Hatred requires an investment in people and circumstance. What people fail to recognize is that hatred is built on the foundation of disappointment and the frustrations of not being able to reach compromise and harmony. Our collective ineffectiveness at re-establishing harmony keeps stoking the fires of hate.

Hatred is maintained through a self righteous clinging to one's own point of view and a disregard of the dignity and right of others to hold their own point of view, no matter how disagreeable we find it. The bottom line of a humanitarian and spiritual point of view is that all points of view must be acknowledged, for without this witnessing there can be no half-way points or negotiations or resolutions in the effort to return to peace.

Healing hatred requires an attitude of good will and the skills of insight and peace making communication. This is true on the international, societal, and interpersonal stages. Life is both harmony and conflict, and conflict resolution is the business of a bodhisattva, somebody committed to caring for the welfare of all beings, creatures, nations, and the earth. If we value peace we must learn the skill of listening to that which is distasteful, of presenting points of view in palatable ways, and working towards the neutral middle ground where all aggrieved parties perceive mutual benefit and resolution.

An image I like is that we are all in the same boat at all times, and that if there is a hole in the boat we will all drown unless it is fixed. Focusing on who caused the hole and how it was caused often results in blame and finger pointing rather than cooperative problem solving. Living an awakened life for the benefit of all beings means developing the capacity to live in neutrality, objectivity, and balance, and to cultivate skills that will help you and others return to peace.

Healing hatred also means sorting out how you maintain personal attitudes of resentment, ill will, lack of forgiveness, meanness, prejudice, judgment, blame, perfectionism, arrogance, pride,.....many of our conditioned character traits can be seen as faces of hatred. If questions can guide us, perhaps the question 'How do I continually strive for peace and good will?' can go a long way in our self evaluation as well as in our efforts to have a peaceful world.