One Buddhist teacher suggests that giving is the root of all virtue. Dana Paramita epitomizes the Buddhist ideal of selfless living, of organizing your life around the care and nourishment of all beings. This deepest of intentions focuses less on our own satisfaction, which more often that not ends up in misery, than on an attitude of generosity toward the world. To quote a Tibetan teacher, "The way to be happy is to make others happy". When counseling people, I often suggest they give what they want to get, which although simplistic, really creates the context for mutual fulfilment and harmony. If you need attention, give it, if you need comfort, give it, if you need love, give it, if you need peace, give it, if you need touch, give it. This turns self centered compulsions on tilt.
Of course danger lurks within the ideal of selflessness, because many of us have been trained to deny our needs or to think of self care as selfish. Any guilt or shame associated with treasuring yourself is a conditioned piece of identity that harms your well being. Selfless giving is not synonymous with self denial. I have found that as my life and practice have matured, I need less and value simplicity more, and also that there are really very few things in life necessary to my well being. I allow myself to have them, but since they are few, I am available to others. It seems the more I contribute, the more I feel a sense of belonging and the inherent joy associated with generosity.
Zazen and mindfulness practices keep us centered in our body and the present. When we are completely present and available to the world, responding with openness and spontaneity, then giving of ourselves is an unselfconscious activity, it isn't something we try to affect, it is an extension of breath and voice and eyes and ears and heart and mind and naturalness. Including all things into the space of your being is itself the gift bestowing hands of all the Buddhas.
Without thinking
I offered him a ride home.
What's to hold back?!
Dana Paramita: Giving
