Shame is a pandemic. Most people do not whole heatedly embrace themselves with loving kindness and a sense of their own worth and wonderfulness. Many people don't even know they suffer from shame and the fundamental sense of not being O.K. Healing shame is a critical step on the path to spiritual wholeness. Whether we avail ourselves of psychotherapy, twelve step recovery, self-help, journal writing, meditation or spiritual insight,- healing the inner voices and feelings of unworthiness is necessary.
In Zen we say to 'treasure yourself', which means to honor yourself as Buddha and to extend loving kindness towards your own being. Sometimes this can be done specifically by loving the parts of you that need healing, the wounded inner child or the lonely adult or the stressed out worker, whomever it is within you that is in distress. We need to gently and warmly embrace those parts of ourselves that suffer. This is a spiritual act, not simply a psychological healing. In the Buddha field and matrix of inter-being, healing others is healing ourselves, and healing ourselves is healing others. Everything is Buddha and wherever you turn the light of kindness it will radiate outwards and touch all corners of the universe.
Look into the mirror, connect with your own eyes, and say 'I love you'. Not as easy as it sounds for many people. Put your name on an altar and bow to it. Light a candle and pray for yourself. Hold a vision of the unloved inner child within you and allow your warm compassionate heart to embrace it. Allow others to love you and remember each day who they are. When you feel whole and worthy, your body and mind can soften and you can rest in the warm river of intimacy with all things. If you think loving yourself is 'selfish', that is the voice of shame. Of course, if you love only yourself, that is egoism.
One of my favorite quotes from Hillel is 'If I am not for myself, then who is for me? If I am only for myself, then who am I'?
Shame and Love
