Meeting the disappointments in our lives with gentleness is a way of deepening our experience while being kind to ourselves and others. Disappointment is the root of most anger as well as frustration. I know that when I find myself reacting with either anger or frustration I am usually out of touch with deeper emotion and experience. The truth of quiet disappointment can at times be harder to bear than the bluster of anger or explosion of tears or of knee jerk reaction frustration.
Our karmic history plays a big role in disappointment...how were we taught to deal with frustration and loss as children, and what habit patterns and beliefs did we form about things going our way and the reality of disappointment? Inner awareness and problem solving in these areas is helpful of course. The Zen approach of 'just seeing it clearly' is quite powerful in and of itself. So much of our difficulty is in stepping back from habit, from reactivity, and from pouring gasoline on the fires that are already burning within our hearts and in our relationships.
Even though I don't like disappointment, I think of it now as a gift. I notice that when I breathe out when I feel it, my chest softens and I begin to touch places in my body and emotions that I didn't know were there, or that are old friends that have returned. The most important aspect of this gentle approach for me is that I soften inside and become aware of the choices I have: nurture myself, think clearly about what is going on, speak with the intention of kind problem solving instead of jumping down somebodies throat.
Then there is picking up a rock and throwing it at a cliff or into the ocean. The point about disappointment is.....how do we want to meet it?
Quiet Disappointment
